FapHouse

Have you visited the FapHouse lately? I ain’t talking about visiting your mother-in-law’s place, where your wife insists you’re not allowed to fuck in the guestroom, leading you to rub out load after load after explosive load in the bathroom. (“I swear, honey, I just have the shits from your mom’s meatloaf!”) I’m actually talking about a new premium site that popped up at the beginning of April. They made a ridiculously grand entrance into the online porn market, building up a following at a rate that would make just about any smut peddler jealous; a couple of months in, they’re already getting over 30 million visits a month.

So, what’s the fucking Faphouse.com secret? Well, figuring it out is one of my goals this morning, along with filling up this old gym sock with sperm. I have a feeling the key to their success might be in their main gimmick: they’re offering full-length pornos from a ton of sources for one price. I’ve always been a sucker for a deal, especially one that’s going to make my morning fap routines even more productive. Without any further ado, let me lube up the ol’ Johnson and take a look.